The gap that exists between goals and opportunities is at the core of Robert Merton’s Social Strain Theory which argues that social structures may pressure citizens to commit crimes or experience intense psychological stress. “Strain” occurs when there is a mismatch between society’s expectations of success and the legitimate means available to reach them. Real-world experience shows that reality rarely matches the “mental script” which is the internalized image of success we feel pressured to achieve. When these expectations are high, but the ladder to reach them (education, networking, and resources) is blocked, the resulting friction creates social strain.
A society that desperately celebrates “success” often embraces Machiavellian principles, where “the end justifies the means.” This suggests that a positive result outweighs any immoral actions required to attain it. This doesn’t just apply to the politician with an illicitly funded campaign or the unethical business mogul. To see this more closely, consider the character of Aya Bongo in Wyclef Jean’s “Sweetest Girl.” Her hostile environment taught her that “cash rules everything” and “closed legs don’t get fed.” Driven by the pressure to chase her “mental picture” in a new nation, she engaged in horrendous, soul-crushing ‘work’ just to survive. Before she succumbed to the strain, Aya was a hopeful child who lacked legitimate pathways. Her story is mirrored by many; as another sister noted, “For every one-night stand I indulge, I make sure the partner funds an item on my to-do list.”
Society screams at us: “Be a winner,” “Don’t sleep,” “Get the money,” and “Pay the bills.” Yet, it remains silent about the actual paths to these goals. I once asked a friend why they weren’t sleeping late at night. The response: “Why would I sleep while I’m alive?” This implies that sleep is a waste of time better reserved for death. This culture creates a vacuum where individuals feel they are failing personally, when in reality, the system is designed to facilitate that failure. How does one make a dollar out of fifteen cents or afford champagne on a beer budget? Without a miracle you are left with two choices: lower your expectations and accept the “beer,” or find a new way to get the “champagne”—which often means “innovating” by breaking the rules.
The sociologist, Merton suggests people respond to these gaps in different ways:
The Conformist: Accepts both the goals and the means, following the rules regardless of the outcome.
The Innovator (The Creative): Accepts the goals but rejects the institutional means, creating new—often illegal or unconventional—paths to success.
The Retreatist (The Dropout): Rejects both the goals and the means, withdrawing from society, often through addiction or isolation.
The Ritualist (say the “regular”): Abandons the big dreams but clings to the safe means, resigning to a standard 9-to-5 life.
The Rebel: Rejects the current system entirely, seeking to implement new goals and new means through revolution.
To bridge the gap, you must realize that your struggle is often a structural failure, not a personal one. Stop beating yourself up and start re-strategizing. If you have high expectations but limited means, see it as a phase, not a permanent barrier. As a mother once told her child: “Don’t act injured when you swim with the sharks.” If you beat the system even once, you are set apart. Be innovative; build unconventional bridges through digital networking and self-learning. The friction exists in the gap, but the goal is to use that friction to spark a fire that bakes your bread—not one that burns your house down. Every jewelry has a price!
Written by : Bykefreeborn: X/Twitter: @bykefreeborn